I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
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