They should really pass out barf bags in church
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
