I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
