I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
