Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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