Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
