Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
