he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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