Is it normal to miss your booty call?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
