Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I would ride that face into the sunset
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
