I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
