my sisters under your porch take her home
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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