On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize