I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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