is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
