woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles