Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
