We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
