please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
