i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I think I sprained my soul last night
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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