the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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