ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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