it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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