East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
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