you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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