You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
