I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
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Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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