You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
