Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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