there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
