You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
