i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
being pregnant is like rehab
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize