just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
