She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
