I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
