i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
