So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
