He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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