i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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