playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
