I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
