Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
