i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
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