don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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