I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
