I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize