didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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