Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
you will always have a special place in my vag
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
