so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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