She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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