This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
