Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
