I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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