The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize