no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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