in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
