I got chris browned last night
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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